New Things

Starting new things can be really scary and sometimes overwhelming.

Right now it’s almost funny to think about, but today was my first day at Northwest University, and it felt like a lot.

I have new books and a new school website that’s very different than what I’m used to. The classes feel bigger and more weighty than what I was expecting. At least, it did until I talked it through and told my dad I was feeling mildly overwhelmed.

After I did that, after I recognized that it was totally okay to feel frazzled and was reminded to take it a day at a time, it was like all of those bottled up emotions and new concerns stopped being so big.

I felt a lot of peace and felt like I had been pretty productive, when earlier I was going sort of crazy feeling like I hadn’t done anything the whole day. And I remember that all that time, those few hours of reading and feeling lost, that I wasn’t really following the urging that was on my heart. I heard the same thing that I hear often whenever a new circumstance (big or small) shows up: “Relax. I got this.”

Not me, obviously — but He always does.

Right now I’m feeling like tomorrow will be a breeze, that I’ll begin to find a rhythm. What was confusing or difficult doesn’t feel so difficult anymore, like my mind is clearer and relaxed.

I’m pretty certain that tomorrow will be an even better day; but no matter what, I’m not going to worry that I’m the only one carrying it all, because I know I haven’t been carrying any of it — and I’m so thankful.