2020

Considering that it has been all over every screen and news resource for the last few years, it sometimes feels like this constant circus of vitriol and rage and desperation aimed at a man who does not even remotely deserve any of it has gone on forever. I am grateful that this country was built on ideas and regulations that keep things from going under, regardless of how politically divisive the climate is. But I can’t bring myself to watch a single clip or live-stream of the hearings being held, because it is so far from what this painting exemplifies that it is honestly sickening.

I cannot understand how so many people in government leadership, in academic circles, and in the media have totally abandoned what it should always mean to be a citizen of the United States. We are not the perfect utopia imagined by some author’s fancy. We are a people built on the hopes and dreams of a room full of people (yes, mostly men, but they represented the future of countless millions, and they knew that in every fiber of their beings). They were (and we are) complicated, dirty, broken, ordinary human beings. Yet still, they carefully and brilliantly built the baseline of a system of government and the skeleton of a culture that the world had never seen before.

They got into arguments and faced scandals and nonsensical political rivalries, just as we do today, because they were ordinary people. But at their best? At their best they changed history — they chose to prioritize freedom and optimism and integrity. The generations after them faced war, even war on their own land between fellow Americans. They faced two wars that ravaged the world, and many other fights were started because something had to done.

That was the quintessential leader and American citizen I learned about all my life, and I have always been proud. It’s always been unspoken, but still very true. These past four years I have more often been frustrated about the political climate than impressed with how hard our representatives work to keep the ideals, the DNA of the United States of America in mind. When I was learning about how it all works, the branches of government, the House, the Senate, all of that, I was amazed by how complicated and how hard of a job it must be. I was certain that a lot of our leaders must have the guts and the heart to do it well. I could say that about many…but not all.

I could never say that the representatives opposing the duly elected President as if he were a common criminal fit the bill of those honorable workers I learned about— I could say some pretty mean-spirited things about them, and they would be 100% true. That won’t help a thing in the least, so I won’t. As an American citizen, the only thing my representatives should make me feel is pride. I may disagree and be disgruntled, but I should never be mostly embarrassed and outraged.

They are failing in every capacity. I am convinced that if one of our Founders somehow found their way to this time period, they would have some serious business with a great deal of people.

I am grateful that there are plenty who are fighting for what it means to be an American and standing against all the nonsense, but that should be the case for every one of them! No matter their political ideas or the name they chose or the animal they stick on their posters, they should want to make our country great and work together despite their sharp disagreements.

I am still praying for repentance and change in the hearts of those who value their power, the status quo, and their own ideas of how things should be done over the unity and optimism our country should represent. I don’t mean to sound like a downer, but when I really think about it, it makes my heart ache. The America I know is filled to the brim with differences, optimism, courage, diversity of thought. I still see that everywhere — it hasn’t gone anywhere, not in the slightest.

That isn’t the America that I see on the faces of those who are supposed to represent us, but are merely representing their own interests. I see something pretty dark there. But I do see it everywhere else, in the representatives doing their jobs, in ordinary people, and in the President and his family. Yeah, I said it!

I have been praying for months that a thunderous change will come. I believe God has a ridiculously good destiny prepared for the United States of America, but I know it can’t fully come as long as this nonsense, this idiocy keeps going on. It can only change when the people change — which I hope beyond anything else happens. I am also prepared for every skeleton to be brought out of every closet, for the darkness and slop to be pulled up and thrown into the light to shock those who need to be back into action and focus.

I have prayed specifically for one thing:

That 2020 will be the year everything changes for our nation. I have repeatedly asked God to do something enormous. End the vicious news cycle, silence the random and loud outbursts of immorality, and renew the spirit of the American people back to a place it hasn’t been for decades. I have prayed over and over: everything starts to be different on January 1st, 2020.

27 days, 651 hours, 39099 minutes, 2345975 seconds and counting…